I don’t want to write, but it’s been over a month since my last post, and I feel it necessary. So here goes.
I wish I could tell you about the latest example of seeing the Love, but I can’t. I’ve felt disconnected lately. Grumpy, and otherwise not pleasant. Yes, there are times when I am genuinely happy still, but those times seem to be spreading apart rapidly. I wish I could say why, but I don’t think I know exactly why yet and I’m not about to hazard a guess publicly. All I know is, I am unsatisfied. I have longings that aren’t being met. I have dreams that still seem completely unattainable. I have weaknesses that shame me. I am unsatisfied.
Why am I writing such personal stuff for all the world to see? I believe I am not alone. I don’t feel it right now, but I believe it. I know that you who feel the same way will be encouraged by this fact, and that will make it worth it to me.
I know there is love to be seen. I just haven’t seen it yet. I’m going to keep looking. I can’t live well without it. When I see it, I will let you all know.