Lately I’ve been wanting to write a blog post, but, like now, I feel perplexed as to what to write. I know that I have seen love, and there are faint ideas, but none seem to come to fruition. Maybe a good dose of reality is needed (and hopefully some cool stuff will come out of it).
I am annoyed. I would rather not talk on a serious level with anyone except to voice my own opinion and feel like I’m right.I want a hug that tells me everything’s going to be okay. I want to be recognized. This whole lonely thing, which cloaks itself in so many different emotions, is taking a toll.
I claim to be a follower and lover of Jesus Christ; I am lonely. As far as I know, those two should disagree. Aren’t Christians part of a Body? Was I not adopted into the family of God? Another question, this one for me: Is it that I feel rejected or I am simply being selfish and seeking my own glory only?
So often I think along the lines of “If only I could play the guitar with skill, then I’d be happy” ,or “If only I had a car, then I could go to this place and that place and feel good”. What the heck? Do I seriously think I will be happy with skills that take practice to keep? Do I think I will be content with several hundred more dollars in bills with a car and such? Sure those things would be nice; I do want to have musical abilities and my own transportation sometime. But there’s something more, there’s love. You can’t see love when your mind is constantly on what you wish life will be like in future. Love is here in the present. Look around and take steps to move forward. Don’t stop looking forward, but do look at the present as well. I want to see love everyday. Then I will be a little happier.